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The medicine conundrum

February 13th, 2007

With our income tax windfall, Brandon and I decided to take up the carpet and linoleum in our open-design living room/kitchen and install wood laminate flooring instead.  I don’t know if it was the wood particles floating around or maybe the formaldehyde used in carpet and insulation, but something triggered an acute case of sinusitis that I haven’t been able to shake.

I should preface the following by saying that I and medicine do not have a very good history.  When I was 7 and hospitalized for strep throat/scarlet fever, doctors soon found out I was allergic to Keflex by the tell-tale rash that speckled my fever-wrought body.  A few years later, I was given Amoxicillin to only meet the same end.

When I had my wisdom teeth extracted, my dentist prescribed Erythromycin. I would have gladly had all my teeth extracted in lieu of this nefarious posion masquerading as a antibiotic.

So, perusing the cold aisle at Walgreens, I debated the children’s brand, which boasted a bubblegum-like flavor, but decided on a orange-colored bottle of Tylenol Cold Multi-Symptom promising to taste like a “instant CitrusBurst sensation.”

Still, opening the bottle at home, I sniffed it suspiciously.  It smelled like orange Tang.  I downed in one gulp.  It was the most disgusting definitively non-citrusy bile I’ve ever swallowed, with an aftertaste much on par to that of black licorice soaked in vinegar.

I suspect it to be the same sort of liquid they fill the Kool-Aid pitchers in hell with.

If they can make children’s medicine taste like bubblegum and cotton candy, why can’t they make adult medicine at least bearable?


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