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June 13th, 2007

Spring quarter is finally over; papers are turned in, graduation ceremony suffered through.

Exhale.

I officially graduated from UC last Saturday, in a mind numbingly boring ceremony which involved the calling of 1,300 graduate names. I left after two and a half hours, when I realized it would take an additional hour to call the 600 or so graduates who were left.

I knew the ceremony was going to be boring from when I received my AA degree. But still, I didn’t want to look back and regret not donning a gown and itchy cap and marching in to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance.

Silly me, I expected my family to accompany me in this celebration, seeing as I am the first ever on my mother’s side of the family and only the second on my father’s side to receive a college degree. (My father’s brother Roger received a bachelor’s degree but now he’s a unemployed drunkard so I don’t technically consider his degree to be valid.)

I first told my dad and sister of the ceremony and our plans to celebrate with dinner afterwards more than a month ago. My dad, still reeling with bitterness since my parent’s divorce in 2005, said he wouldn’t go if my mom was attending. I told him that the Fifth-Third Arena could hold literally thousands of people and his chances of seeing her were slim to none.

Several days before the ceremony, I started calling the family, first my brother David, then Megan, then my dad. The day before, my dad messaged me and I asked him again if he was planning to attend. He said no, because of my mother again. Angrily I told him that I wouldn’t bother sending him an invite to our wedding next year then.

The day of I still hadn’t heard back from my siblings. I called David and spoke with his girlfriend who advised he was working that day. Megan finally answered and said she too was working. When I asked her why she didn’t schedule that day off, she tried to claim that I had never told her about graduation or the dinner. Jim, who was supposed to be in town this weekend, left a day early to return to Philadelphia. He didn’t even tell me. I had to hear this from my mother.

I didn’t expect people to want to come to the ceremony, but no one had made plans to attend the dinner either, which was supposed to be a graduation/birthday dinner for mom event.

What should have been a very happy day was quickly turned into one of sadness as I realized that no one in my family except my mom gives a damn.

My mother and Brandon attended and we went out to dinner with Brandon’s mom afterward. My mom is far from perfect, and we had a lot of issues in my childhood, but I do have to give her this: she’s always cared. I remember her showing up in her police uniform to my seventh-grade band concert because she scheduled her lunch break early so that she could attend. Although she rightfully harbors a lot of resentment towards my dad, she puts aside her personal feelings for the sake of her kids; something my dad can’t seem to fathom doing.

It seems as if I’m usually the one organizing celebrations in our family. I planned my father’s 50th birthday bash and always call everyone on their birthdays and give them gifts. I realize Megan and David are most usually poor, but neither even bothered to call me or even send a card on my birthday last month.

Father’s Day is looming, as well as the birthdays of my dad and sister this fall. Somehow I think Brandon and I will be busy those days.

Filed under Personal |

One Response to “A very disappointing day”

Lisa on July 8, 2007 12:23 pm
I was the only one in my family to get a degree, too. Only my parents and then fiance, JR, came. No one else even bothered to call.

If I hadn’t had to work, we’d have come down to hang with y’all.

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